1. I'm reallllly grateful that I'm not pregnant.
I was just reading over my journal last year at this time and found the statement I've posted below written in late November. While pregnancy may bring about my humorous side, I think I'd rather be utterly dull this year and not have my body all out of whack. Here's what miss preggy had to say:
"As of today, I am 31 weeks pregnant. I have found I have lost whatever small amount of grace I had been blessed with, I cannot sleep, I eat all food not nailed down. Today I find myself thinking, do I really want to wear pantyhose? The obvious answer to that question is, "of course not". Therefore, I will not. Not that they would even fit me at this point. My legs will bare the cold on this November day, but I will be a happier person on the inside...
I've never felt this way before. Then again, I've never had a watermelon strapped to my body 24/7 either. I'm more emotional I'm noticing. In my defense, however, that could be clearly due to a lack of blissful sleeping. Then again, it could be a hormone thing. I realize these ailments will all be worth it. In just a matter of nine weeks this bundle of pure joy from heaven will come to us, and I know within a couple of years I will say, "Hey, let's do that again!" But for now even the prospect of being a mother terrifies me. I occasionally have bursts of crying, thinking what on earth have I gotten myself into? But I am told this is normal. To doubt the decision you cannot turn back on."
It was all worth it of course. And I even get around 7 hours sleep most nights these days. But I am certainly grateful I'm not pregnant this year! The photo above is the ONLY picture I actually like of myself from about five months pregnant on. The rest of the time I just looked and felt like a huge water balloon!
2. I'm grateful my baby is healthy and has spirit!
Not only is she healthy, she is strong, willful, and determined. She gets very excited around other babies but has the tendency to be a little overbearing, pulling their hair, pummeling them, trying to ride on their backs, chasing after them... you know, that type of thing. And although I will try to teach her some social graces, I also love that about her. She's tenacious and goes after what she wants... sometimes striking fear in other children but hey, it's all meant sweetly. Below is a picture of Ella "caught in the act" of showing her excitement/scaring other children. Also some cute photos of Ella and Ellie in their matching Christmas jumpers Tawnie made (she's so talented).
3. I am grateful for family and friends.
What a blessing this time of year to be surrounded by the people you care about most. My little family, our extended family (even though they're not close in geography they are close via many phone calls and thoughts and prayers), and good friends both old and new. As promised here is the photo of our big group gathering the other week. It was so nice to bring together some of my old high school friends, Shaun's old high school friends, and our mutual friends since meeting, and seeing how well we all came together sharing memories and creating new ones.
4. I am grateful for a holiday season that reminds us of our Savior
Really we should be mindful year round, but I love that Christmas gives us time to reflect on not only Christ's immortality, but his mortality. That he came to earth in very humble circumstances and lived a human life, setting for us the ultimate example of love and good will toward men. Again reflecting back to last year, I wrote these words in preparation for a talk in church:
"I try to imagine what went through Mary's mind as she prepared to bare the Savior of the world. Much like the thoughts I have, did she wonder what type of mother she would be? Would she provide the best example? How would she teach him, and what would he grow up to become? I am humbled as in my minds eye I view the humble circumstances in which she bore the Savior of mankind. I often think of the words to my favorite hymns as I try to put myself in that moment in time, much like Mr. Kruger did as he envisions himself by the manger, talking to the Christchild. It's funny that in that picture I can think of no words, only music. My two favorite hymns often go through my mind, "What Child is This?" and "Oh Holy Night." Perhaps because they can evoke the feelings my words cannot.
"Fall on your knees! Oh hear the angel voices!
O' night divine, the night when Christ was born...
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger;
In our trials born to be our friend
He knows our needs, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend."
This is the message of Christmas, and the number one thing I am grateful for, the message of peace. "Herein is love, no that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another." May we be the angels of faith, hope and love this holiday season, and throughout the entire year!
