Chatting with a three year old

Putting Ella to bed the other night, we had the following conversation:

Ella: Mommy, we need to have a birthday party. (she is big on birthday parties right now and likes to find random things around the house to "decorate" for birthday parties with).

Me: Oh, can it be my birthday party? My birthday is next.

Ella: Of course mommy.

Me: Well what do you think I want for my birthday?

Ella: An Ariel doll

Me: Really? You think mommy wants an Ariel doll?

Ella: Of course you do mommy, of course you do.

Ella loves to say "of course" instead of yes, and she says it so sincerely and seriously. It was the cutest thing. I told Shaun and he is relieved it will be so easy to shop for my birthday this year:)

Hammer time!

Before you go envisioning parachute pants and start singing the 1990 music hit in your head, today's blog title has a different connotation. It's time for me to go "hammer time" on myself. I've lost 15 pounds since Amelia was born but I've been at a standstill the last... um... five weeks. I need to get re-motivated. With summer just around the corner and my nine month up, nine month down philosophy, I gotta get on it! I'd like to lose 30 more pounds before our beach trip this July but even 20 would put me back where I was when I got pregnant. So again, in an effort to keep myself honest, I'm going to enforce "hammer time".

In other news, things are pretty hum drum these days. The girls are wonderful. They are gorgeous and fun and exhausting! I apologize for the lack of pics with this post. We haven't done much worth breaking the camera out for. I'll work on that for next time. We're looking forward to April and my Spring Break when we hope to visit family and friends in south west Virginia and across North Carolina. Shaun and I are trying to enjoy one date night each week but he started back at the golf course on the weekends on top of the restaurant during the week so our time together is precious. We continue to hope and pray his other job begins shortly, but know that with that will come it's own set of logistical issues so we will at least be grateful for the time being we don't have to worry about day care. That's one perk to NOT having his job start yet. But about the only one. Anyway, we are hopeful. I think I heard a reporter use the term "cautiamistic" referring to the economic recovery for the nation, but I'd say it applies to our little family too.

Swing Time

Before I get started, you'll be relieved to know this is not going to be a rant. I know, I know, you're thinking, "Shwooh, 'cause that girl just never stops." No, today's post is of the more light hearted variety. As I indicated in my last entry, March is a month of waiting. So while we wait we might as well have a good time. The girls got a new swing in the backyard. Their papa is very loving and was so excited to put up a swing so that they both could have a good time this summer. The swing was put up last week and we haven't wasted any time breaking it in. Below are some photos of the girls "in action". Also some photos of what we do most days... play in our pj's (except me of course. I have to get ready for work. On days I don't I definitely join them).

(I promise I really do her hair sometimes)

(okay, maybe I didn't do her hair this day either... oh well, she's having fun)

And look at these baby blues. Amelia is our little gerber girl. She is just too precious for words.

Also, one other bit of exciting news- no, we haven't gotten word about Shaun's job, and no, we're NOT preggo. My co-workers guessed both of the above. The first would be worthy of it's own post and the second wouldn't be exciting at the moment, it'd be overwhelming. We found out today Ella made the list for the high school pre-school program next fall! She will LOVE this opportunity and I've heard wonderful things about what they do there. The high school students help run it which makes it 1) super affordable and 2) almost a 1:1 ratio of child to adult/semi-adult. I'm really happy to know Ella will be able to go to such a great pre-school. I'd send her today if I could. She loves to learn and is like a little sponge. But it's something to look forward to.

Did somebody say Threes were Terrible?

Did that same somebody also say what terrible meant specifically? For us it's been an emotional roller coaster now that Ella is three. She told me just yesterday to "go away forever", every night bedtime is an epic battle, and then I've got input from nana and papa upstairs for whom she can do no wrong... further exacerbating the T in Terrible.

I'm just plain ol' grumpy. I'm not a huge fan of March. It's a month of waiting. Waiting for Spring, waiting for jobs to start, waiting to feel like a real mom and not just the fake mom when nana's not around. Waiting for a real house of my own, waiting to not feel like an utter failure.

Don't worry, I'm not always this grumpy, but maybe the rain has me singing the blues. Maybe four nights in a row of doing bedtime solo with only input from upstairs to tell me if I spank my daughter she'll never know I love her. Sheesh! Ella pushes buttons. She told me last week nana was her real mom. I love that she can be so close to her grandparents, but not at the cost of my own relationship with her suffering. And the irony is, I so desperately need their help. With Shaun working almost every night I come home from one full time job to another with the kids and some nights I just don't have the energy to watch them both. I need their help and greatly appreciate it, but the more they help the more Ella hates me.

So I guess my question is (yes, there is a question amidst of all this ranting) is this what three is or do I have a particularly angry child on my hands? I'm a little concerned but it's not like until Shaun's job starts I can even do anything about it, at least not anything as drastic as move. Here are some things I'm trying but haven't determined if they're successful yet:

A consistent schedule

Special time with just me

play dates with other children

outings with our family alone

I wish I could say I'm always patient. I pray for patience, truly I do, in EVERY aspect of my life. I feel like my three year old hates me. I have no idea what more to do with her and I feel stuck. Stuck in this basement, stuck in my job, stuck stuck stuck! Oh terrible threes how I hate you! At least I'm hoping it's just the terrible threes. Verdict is still out.