One Fine Day

Have you ever seen that movie "One Fine Day" with Michelle Pheifer and George Clooney? The one where two parents are constantly failing at meeting deadlines at work while simultaneously doing a rather rotten job of parenting too? I'm beginning to feel like my life is one perpetual remake of that movie day after day- minus the intermittent flirting with George Clooney which seems to make it all worth it in the movie.  I knew this would be a difficult year as Shaun is finishing up his schooling, but some days I just don't feel like I'm up to the task.  I feel rather mediocre in my work performance which is slightly difficult to accept, but what's really difficult is feeling like my baby girl would rather go to anyone else in the family but me.  She loves her daddy because they're together everyday, and her nana and papa spoil her rotten so it's a given that she'll love them.  But when I'm with her I feel so torn.  I come home to a house that is in disarray, I'm exhausted, and Ella is usually just waking up from a nap and ready to play.  So I think to Ella's dismay I try to multi-task and do all three (well the nap doesn't always happen but it sure would be nice).  For some reason she doesn't think it's fun to watch me do the dishes, catch up on emails, or vacuum (actually the vacuum scares her so that's out).

I remember growing up and thinking about how great motherhood would be.  I always pictured I'd have the luxury of staying home and I'd get to spend the day baking or doing some other great mom thing.  I know that a lot of moms don't have that life and so I'll snap out of pity mode eventually but today I'm just wanting to let friends know it's hard.  I guess I don't feel like I'm measuring up to what I expect of myself, and maybe it's just me, but I almost feel I can see it in Ella's eyes.  Like I said, she'd rather be with anyone but me.  

I'm frustrated with myself because I don't feel like I'm where I should be in life.  I feel like I'm behind and will never catch up.  Friends that I go to church with are just a few years older than me and they have two to four kids, stay at home, and own nice homes.  What am I doing wrong?  Why do I still live in my parents basement?  Some days I have these feelings and it's very hard to overcome them.  I know I shouldn't compare myself to others and that truly you never really know what others are going through even if everything looks perfect, but some days it's just hard.  

Ok. So it's been a long time since I've posted any new videos of Ella. I couldn't get them off my phone for some reason. But now i've done it for your viewing pleasure. Note to viewers... There are is a back log of videos and I'm not able to put them in order of age. Some could be 2 months old or so. AND NOW>>> WITH OUT FURTHER ADUE!!!!   "ELLA"

It's fall and life's a ball

October is proving to be a very busy month for the Calderwoods.  Every weekend has been spent doing some festive activity such as apple picking, hiking, and visiting the lake to check out the fall foliage.  At the heart of all the activity (and the center of attention) is Miss Ella Celeste.  She is such a delight to be around.  She is always happy, smiling, observant, and curious about the world around her.  Watching her experience things for the first time brings so much joy into my life.  It makes up for the many nights of disrupted sleep and constant going to keep up with her.

This was Ella today before church.  What a looker!  Gotta love the hat.  We have to teach her at a young age that it's all about the accessories:)

Yesterday we went hiking with some friends up White Oak Canyon to these beautiful falls.

Unfortunately, by the time we got to the falls, Ella was pretty well zonked as you can see in the picture below.  She was so good on the hike.  She was in awe of nature and fought off sleep as she sat in the little backpack on her dad's back.  Finally sleep won and she dozed off before we reached our destination.

And this is our happy girl out on the lake.  This has got to be one of my favorite photos!

Shaun is teaching Ella all about boating at a young age.  

Life has never been busier with an infant and busy schedules of work and school, but we wouldn't trade our time with our girl for anything.  

Apple Picking at Stribling Orchard

Last weekend was gorgeous!  So gorgeous in fact that Shaun and I (along with what seemed like everyone else from Northern Virginia) ventured off into the country for a lovely day of apple picking.  It was a fantastic day.  Definitely worth blogging about!  Ella even enjoyed playing on the pumpkins!  I think this could become a Calderwood family tradition if we stay in this area... I guess that's a big if, but you get the point.  Worth repeating!

PS:  Weight Watchers update-  Another two pound loss this week, but that was BEFORE our anniversary dinner last night at PF Chengs.  I guess we'll see how that goes.  I'm back on track today.

Four Years Ago Today...

...We were married in the DC Temple.  Now, four years of school and a baby later, I love Shaun even more!  Maybe it's the sacrifices we make together that draw us even closer.  Happy Anniversary to the love of my life!

Happy October!

Ella had her first encounter with a pumpkin last night.  She was fascinated by this strange orange orb of an object and enjoyed poking at it's eyes and mouth (much like she enjoys poking at MY eyes and mouth).  I've never been much of a fan of halloween, but I've heard it said that with kids it becomes an exciting event!  I guess we shall see.  Ella is going to be a skunk for halloween thanks to a hand-me-down costume from a friend at church.  I find it very fitting since we call her our little stinker these days anyway.  

Other significant events occurring in our little girl's life:  she started crawling about two weeks ago, she is constantly saying something though none of us are sure exactly what, she smiles all of the time and loves meeting new people, and she has started a love affair with cheerios.  If she's anything like me, this love affair will continue into her adult years:)  Just next week she will be eight months old, and a short two days later Shaun and I will celebrate our fourth year anniversary.  Wow time flies!