Where is the Pavilion?

The following are excerpts from the talk I referenced in my last entry by Elder Henry B. Eyring, titled "Where is the Pavilion?", from this past October's Conference.  I've listened to this talk several times.  It's exactly the perspective I need to have in my life right now for what feels like this enormous holding pattern we've been in waiting for Shaun's career to take off.  Or maybe, holding pattern or not, it's exactly where we need to be for the time being.

"That incident illustrates another way we can create a barrier to knowing God’s will or feeling His love for us: we can’t insist on our timetable when the Lord has His own. I thought I had spent enough time in my service in Rexburg and was in a hurry to move on. Sometimes our insistence on acting according to our own timetable can obscure His will for us..We remove the pavilion when we feel and pray, “Thy will be done” and “in Thine own time.” His time should be soon enough for us since we know that He wants only what is best...Submitting fully to heaven’s will is essential to removing the spiritual pavilions we sometimes put over our heads. But it does not guarantee immediate answers to our prayers...The Lord’s delays often seem long; some last a lifetime. But they are always calculated to bless. They need never be times of loneliness or sorrow or impatience."

I don't know if I have actually had a prayer yet that submits fully to the Lord, without my own agenda backing it up.  Maybe it's time that my insistence on any sort of time table be put to the side, and I say "thy will be done... in THINE own time."  I really feel like I have had a spiritual pavilion over my head that clouds me from feeling God's love.  While I try to recognize gratitude for blessings, I always feel like maybe I've done something wrong, and that that is why we have not been given the blessings we have prayed for time and time again.  Or maybe we are just being blessed in a different way right now.  I think by removing that pavilion I will be able to better recognize how the Lord truly is blessing us, even if our personal desires for a home and good job haven't quite come... may never come.  Elder Eyring goes on to say that if we can remove the pavilion between God and us, our perspective becomes more outward focused verses inward driven.  We can move closer to God because we are thinking of ways to serve his children.  He continues, 

"But if you go for the Lord to bless others, He will see and reward it. If you do this often enough and long enough, you will feel a change in your very nature through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Not only will you feel closer to Him, but you will also feel more and more that you are becoming like Him."  

This is my prayer tonight.  I'm grateful for inspired leaders who speak to us, as representatives of God himself, and speak directly to our hearts, giving us the message we need to hear.  I don't know what the Lord's timetable is for our lives, and perhaps His plans are way better than anything I could even cook up, but I will submit to His will, and His time frame.

See the full talk here https://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/11/where-is-the-pavilion?lang=eng