Weight Watchers and Me

I never thought I'd be the type to blog about weight loss.  For me this has always been a personal battle-- like if I don't talk about it people wont know that I want to lose 30 pounds, and if they don't know then they wont think I need to.   Sounds pretty silly when I actually write it out, but nonetheless for the last fifteen years this has been my rationale.  I'm finally realizing that to be successful I may just need support.  And to get support you actually have to talk about it.  The funny thing is most people I know are on diets, so why not support one another?  Well, I just joined weight watchers this month.  After personal trainers and other more expensive plans, I thought I'd give this one a try, especially after seeing it be a successful option for my sister and sister-in-law.  Already I've lost four pounds in the past month... just twenty-six to go!  It may be a slow process, but I'm okay with that.  Just four pounds from now I'll be back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and then it's back to that constant goal of twenty!  One step at a time, right?  

By keeping my friends and family posted, I think it will create another source of motivation.  After all, I'd really hate to be blogging come Christmas and report that no progress has been made.  By talking about it, I'm making changes!

Sell Me Candy

Rules:

1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. You must write that song name down no matter how ridiculous it sounds.

4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.

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DISCLAIMER-- most of this music is Shaun's.

1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?   The Sharpest Lives- My Chemical Romance [not sure that I can make a connection with this one].

2. How would you describe yourself? The Snowman's Music Box Dance- George Winston instrumental [maybe this is in reference to the many snow dances I would perform in middle and yes, even high school, in hopes of getting out of school.  Not sure that's actually how I would describe myself, but hey, why not?]

3. What do you like in a guy/girl? Grown Men Don't Cry- Tim McGraw [I must say my Ipod is in tune... actually, I don't mind a man with a little sensitivity... just not too much]

4. How do you feel today? Bills, Bills, Bills- Destiny's Child [how does my ipod know such things?  Simply amazing!  Anyone who knows me these days knows this could probably sum up any day quite accurately].

5. What is your life's purpose? Lament- Evita Soundtrack [how depressing].

6. What is your motto? Rythm of the Night- Moulin Rouge Soundtrack [ahhh yes, this gets to the wild side of me that very few see]

7. What do your friends think of you? Ordinary Life - Cruel Intentions Sndtrk [so THAT'S why no one ever calls me any more.  It's because I'm boring, eh?  I see how it's going to be].

8. What do you think of your parents? Something bad- Wicked Sndtrk [for any who know my parents you may believe this is quite insightful... though I think I'd use the word mischievous over bad.  Those wild and crazy parents of mine].

9. What do you think about often? Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy- Big and Rich [the little secrets I keep.  Now you know what I'm REALLY thinking about when I clean my house].

10. What is 2+2? Dangerous- Katherine McPhee [though I guess you could derive deeper meaning from this, I tend to be in agreement with Grace that really any answer to this question will be crazy].

11. What do you think about your best friend? I'm not that girl- Wicked Sndtrk [Does this mean my best friend and I fight over the same guy who ends up choosing her after she turns him into straw?  Hmmm.... thanks best friend!]

12. What do you think about the person you like? Told You So- Bare Naked Ladies [oh Shaun, this can be so true on some days, eh?]

13. What do you want to be when you grow up? Of Wolf and Man- Metallica [you guessed it, I dream about riding cowboys during the day, and turn into a wolf at night.  Now you want to call me friends, don't you?]

14. What do you think of when you see the person you like? Eyes Wide Open- Ashlee Simpson [sure, why not?]

15. What will you dance to at your wedding? Ants Marching - Dave Matthews Band [hmm... I think I'm glad I'm already married.  A little different from the wedding march, eh?]

16. What will they play at your funeral? Smile like You Mean It- The Killers [Is the irony the song or the artist this time?  Maybe both]

17. What is your hobby/interest? What a Girl Wants- Ashlee Simpson [oh I like this one.  there are so many things I want.  Does this mean my hobby is getting them?  I'd say that's accurate!]

18. What is your biggest fear?  Lose My Breath- Destiny Child [wow, this could actually be true.  I've always said my biggest fear is drowning.  Deep Ipod].

19. What is your biggest secret? Wouldn't it be Nice? -The Beach Boys [what would be nice?  I guess it's such a secret not even my ipod will not reveal it].

20. What do you think of your friends? Not a Moment Too Soon- Tim McGraw [Tender.  Even if you think I'm ordinary you're there for me just in the nick of time].

21. What will you title this note? Sell Me Candy- Rihanna [why yes, that sounds quite nice].

This is really fun... DO IT!!!

Nanas and babies and beautiful bling!

I love to blog, and yet in all of my blogging I just discovered I've failed to post some very important photos of Ella and her nana. Ella LOOOOVES her nana. In fact, her nana just came back from a very long trip tonight and Ella couldn't have been more excited. Of course, we couldn't tell if it was the silly songs she sang, the strolls through her flower patch, or simply her inordinate amount of bling. Nana's bracelettes and rings and necklaces were so exciting to my now seven month old baby... and Nana also has long hair... perfect for Ella's pulling pleasure:) Yes, Ella loves her nana, and her nana must love her a lot too to let her pull her hair and yank on her jewelry. Come to think about it, I love Ella's nana too! I'm pretty lucky to have her as a mother, and Ella's pretty lucky to have her as her nana too! We love you nana (and papa too... but this one goes out to nana:)

The Calderwood Adventures Continue!

Our first day in Colorado we went with the family up to Ourey, an old mining town that is known as the "Little Switzerland" of the west. It was magnificent to see huge mountains on either side of you with steep valleys. I'm just amazed that back in the day people got up in these mountains to mine. Talk about dangerous. We were able to go on a short hike to some waterfalls and then spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying some natural hotsprings at the foot of the mountains. Ella LOVED the hot springs. It was the biggest bath tub she'd ever been in... me too come to think of it.

The photo below was taken right after our short hike with Grandma and Granpa and their three grandkids. Notice Granpa's shirt (Grandpa rocks). Very clever!

This is Shaun and I at the base of the waterfalls in Ourey

Another day Shaun's brother-in-law watched Ella so we were able to go up to Telluride, a ski resort area just an hour and a half from Montrose. There's a free gondala there that will take you up one side of the mountain and down the other to enjoy the views, shopping, and dining on the other side. The photo below is a view up the mountain on the gondala. And this is a view of the town below taken near the top.
And THIS, this is the view once your on the other side of the mountain... AMAZING! Some people's homes were built right into the side of the mountain so this is their view every day. Can you imagine?
After some fun days of sightseeing, the remainder of our time was spent visiting with everyone. I know Shaun hates being so far away from every one, but I think we got some quality visiting in, even though it took me and Ella a couple of days to adjust to the West Coast time.

This photo is of Haley and her soon to be husband, Jason. I hope we didn't scare him!

And the best part of the visit was Ella getting to know her "Annie". They spent a lot of good time together, and Steph"annie" was such a great hostess.
Ashlee and Bill also helped a lot with Ella. I like this family help thing. I think I've said this before, but I could use a nannie. I could even pay up to 20$/week:) Any takers?

Stephanie's dogs were great sports because they let Ella pull their ears and tackle them almost 100% of the time. The good news was both Ella and the dogs were drooling so it was like an instant connection:)

And what would a visit over the rivers and through the woods be without grandma? Ella loves her Grandma C and hopes to see her again real soon!
Thanks Steph, Ash, and Bill for a great visit! And thanks to Heidi, Paul, Maddie, Haley, Jason, grandma and grandpa for making the visit to see Miss Ella (us too, but really we know it's all about Ella).

Calderwood Family Photos

We had a great time visiting Shaun's sister, Stephanie, in Colorado this week! We were so glad that the rest of his family was also able to come to Colorado for the weekend so we could get some family photos. I cannot take any credit for these. This is all the work of Shaun's younger sister, Haley, who works in a photography studio. The pictures are great I think and so I've posted them for everyone to see what a wonderful family I've married into. I'll post more soon about the details of our trip!

Summer Lovin'

Well, time to be a little more upbeat after what was a downer of a last post. But thank you to all who commented for your kind words. It meant a lot to hear from friends and family. Now let's change gears and talk about what a fun August we Calderwoods are having.

Ella is the apple of our eye! We just can't get enough of her fun little personality. This month I'm discovering my little girl is quite the determined, aggressive little bugger. She is a girl who knows what she wants, whether that be her bottle or her little friend, Pete, and she stops at nothing until she gets it. I think we have our work cut out for us.
Just today Shaun and I took Ella hiking to the White Oak waterfalls (I'm working backwards again because as I've said, I have no idea how to post pictures in any other order). She did great on her first hike. She spent the two and a half mile hike down to the falls looking all around, but snuggled up to Shaun on the trek back up and fell asleep in her carrier. It was the sweetest thing to see as she nestled against his chest.
Ella and I also went on a girls road trip (another first) to see our friends Kristin, Katie, and Becca. We visited Kristin who now lives outside of Phillie in New Jersey. It was wonderful seeing my girlfriends, and a nice getaway before I go back to school full time. The highlights included a day at the shore, a day in Phillie, and going to see Mama Mia. Just a mere four years ago we had seen the play in London and we were so excited to be reunited and watching the movie version. We danced in our seats and had to restrain ourselves from actually standing and dancing like we had done at the live show. Probably much appreciated by others in the audience. Anyway, we really had a great time. I love those girls!
Here we are at the Jersey shore. This was Ella's first time at the ocean and she got so excited when she saw the water. She started screaming (in a good way) and trying to leap out of my arms. What a cute kid!
Katie and Becca at the Liberty Bell in Phillie.
As for Ella, it's never too early to start sightseeing. She did a great job in Phillie. It probably helped that there were four adults to help instead of just one or two. I really need a nanny:)
Ella LOVED the girls, and she enjoyed a lot of quality time with Katie. Katie's just not allowed to do the "tugboat" sound when she's feeding Ella as it makes her break down in tears.
The other highlight of the trip was Ella getting to spend some time with Pete, her betrothed. Though if we weren't careful watching them Ella would roll on top of him and try to kiss him. I told you, I have an aggressive little girl. When we came in and saw her on Pete she looked up at us and made a face as if to say "Oh no, they caught me!" I think Miss Ella might be a bit like her daddy:)

Speaking of daddy's, here they are at the lake. We took this trip right before we headed to Phillie. This was also a wonderful trip, relaxing and fun, with my sister and her two kids, as well as my mom and dad. I loved this picture of Shaun and Ella out on the deck at the lake.
Ella loved her aunt Janet and is missing her kisses. We had good times together listening to ABBA on the boat.
And Thomas and Lauren, or as I lovingly refer to them, Tamika and Lakeesha, had a great time swimming in the lake. We stayed up late playing scrabble and enjoyed teasing each other throughout their entire visit. If you're reading this Thomas and Lauren, just remember, "Shanika say haay baby!"
My dad enjoyed the lake with us too. He really enjoyed playing with Ella on the boat, and even hopped in the water a bit with us.

So all in all, it's been an amazing couple of weeks. There were other events too, like spending more time with Veeda, Brendan, and Mei. They just left to go back home yesterday, and we're going to miss having them around. Veeda and I have been friends for so long she's like a sister too. I'm glad she got to spend the last week of their trip out here at our house so we could visit more.

I guess if I look back on the last couple of weeks, and the summer as a whole, I'd have to say it's been a time of great reunions. Reunions with family, high school friends, college friends, and grad-school friends. I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful and loving friends and family members. We're looking forward to our trip to Colorado in just a couple of weeks to see Shaun's family, and we were glad we got to see my other sister, Michelle, and her family, at the beginning of the summer. It's been a busy summer, but a summer of lovin'. I'm sad it's ending all too soon, but I'm trying to be optimistic that this year will be a good one, even if it is hard with Shaun in school and me working full time. I think good things are in store, and I'm grateful for all of the rich memories we've already created in Ella's short six months of life! I want all of the best for her, and it gives me a sense of excitement as I think about all of the great things life holds in store for her!

Why are things not as they appear?

Today Ella and I spent the day with some of my old high school friends. We really enjoyed catching up with one another and hearing about what everyone had been up to for the last ten years... TEN YEARS! How old am I? I realized as we talked how hard life had been for some of my friends who I thought would never have misfortune come upon them. We were young and all of us had similar dreams of being loved and having families, traveling, and doing great things with our lives. To think that any one of them would be hurting emotionally, or have struggled with illness, or financial difficulty... these things were unfathomable as a teenager. But as we talked I realized how human all of us are, and suseptible to all of the realities life sometimes brings. I think something about today has me needing to destress, and Ella screaming the last third of the drive home might have added to this need, but it's not the sole reason. I'm sad that human nature lends itself to selfishness, and that some people can be controlling and manipulative to their own families... that women I know, women that I respect, have been in such situations. I'm frustrated with myself for not taking a more active stand when I see people being mistreated. Why don't I stand up for what's right? And why don't I stand up for myself sometimes? I let work walk all over me, and sometimes I bend over backwards to accomodate others when I really can barely take care of my own needs. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm afraid if I don't then I'll be a selfish person too.

I know it's probably hard to follow all of this as it's rather cryptic. I think this blog entry is really more for me than anything... a little venting session perhaps. I've been told I need to have a stronger back bone sometimes, but maybe my fear is that if I do that, I'll disregard how others are feeling altogether and find myself at the opposite end of the spectrum, consumed only with my own needs and wants, and unwilling to listen to others. That side of the spectrum is certainly not a side I want to find myself on, and yet I believe a few people have found themselves there that I used to admire and look up to. I'm sad that I've lost my respect for some people. I'm sad that others have been mistreated and have been on the receiving end of their selfishness. I'm sad that I am not strong enough to change any of it!

I guess you never know where life will lead people. The only thing you can do is be a good person, and treat others with love and respect. You never know who is going to need you, even if you don't have a back bone!