2nd Year of Preschool Here We Come

I would be remiss if I didn't post these precious photos of my big 4-year-old and her first day of preschool (now almost three weeks ago... shame on me).  Amelia LOVES school, and she was very excited to return to Mrs. Budd's class and meet her new student teachers.  She loves everyone, and everyone loves her!  The only downside, it's only two half-days.  We just wish there were more of it!

Our Little Man- First two weeks in Photos

Okay, are you ready for a photo explosion?  It's hard not to take photos of this little guy all of the time.  He's so unbelievably precious!  He's soft, sweet, cuddly, and full of love.  I can't even put into words how quickly my heart melted for this little one.  He is such a sweet little baby.  He appears to be mellow and laid back so far.  At just two weeks, he's already gone for a few five hour stretches in the middle of the night.  Sometimes I wake him up just to make sure he's okay.  He really only cries when you change him or get him naked, but then he screams as if life itself is over.  He makes the funniest faces, no doubt a result of gas or something of that nature, but he is absolutely delightful!  Sometimes it's hard for me to put him down even after I've been holding him all day.  I'm probably going to regret that I've spoiled him later, but for now I just enjoy all the soft snuggles and sweet coos that make him so absolutely dear.  I've had a prayer of gratitude in my heart for this precious spirit that has come to bless our home.  

So here he is, Mr. Alexander Earl Calderwood, two weeks in photos!

 

All of these were taken at the hospital

 Big sisters were very excited to meet him!

He had visits from Nana and Papa, and Grandma C came out the day after he was born to help with the girls and keep life at home in order.  but of course she got to love on her little grandson too, the first Calderwood grandson for them (seeing as Shaun is their only son, I guess that makes sense).

 

Everyone enjoyed loving on baby Alex, but no one more than me.  We enjoyed our stay at the Bed and Breakfast, also known as the hospital.  The nurses took good care of us, and I especially appreciated the warm meals and the ability to summon a nurse with the push of a button.  I seem to be healing pretty well after this third C-Section.  I have to admit I was a little sad to leave the hospital, more nervous of what to expect as a mom of now THREE children.  But with Shaun's mom here the transition home was rather seamless.  She kept everything going while the baby and I took time to rest and I took time to recover.  

Nana and Papa came by regularly Alex's first week home, but tried to be careful not to invade Grandma's time with her East Coast grandchildren.  They are in love with him just like the rest of us!

 

Amelia especially enjoys being a big helper.  She will run and get me clothes for the baby, or hold him when he is awake.  I think she thought he might not sleep so much, but she still seems to be enjoying this new little one in our home.  Ella will occasionally come and give him kisses.  She likes him but I have a feeling she will want to be around him more when he can wrestle and play with her.

 Grandma was a big help all week.  She not only took care of the girls, getting them to preschool and school every morning, but she cooked every evening, helped with laundry if I needed it, cleaned my floors, deep cleaned some things, and even was my personal florist, helping me with a  few arrangements before she left.  We were sad to see her leave, but grateful for the time she was with us (about ten days).

 Shaun's sister, Heidi, also came last Friday for two nights.  She and Pat were headed to North Carolina Sunday morning to do a little family history work before flying back to Utah at the end of the week.  The girls had a lot of fun with Aunt Heidi, who channelled her inner preschool teacher and was all sorts of fun playing with the girls.  Amelia was so sad when she left, even though she kept calling her Aunt Stephanie.  Stinker.

We've had other visitors too.  Emily and Ryan came over, and my friend, Kim Catalano, stopped by last week after work.  We also had visits at the hospital from Kim Bridges, Pat and Al Wray, and my friend Carol from work.  Now we have church friends bringing meals by this week, and Lexie has been helping with Amelia.  To be honest I feel a little spoiled.  All of this support has made this transition relatively painless so far, although I am still tired from late night feedings, and if I go long enough without taking my pain meds I remember that indeed I was cut in half and I start to feel it, but every day I feel a little more and more like myself.  

 I have lofty goals of being able to get myself back into running and all sorts of good things before going back to work.  I'm not sure if that's too ambitious, but I think it's nice to have something to work towards.  Little man and I went on our first walk yesterday and it was beautiful!  I'm hoping we can get walks in a  few times a week.

So there you have it, our first couple of weeks with Alex in our lives have been pretty good I'd say, considering all of the changes I have not only experienced individually, but the changes our family is undergoing too as a result.  We are grateful indeed for all of the support we have received from family and friends.  And we are grateful to Heavenly Father for entrusting us with the care of another one of his special spirits.  We are triple blessed!

Welcome Baby Alex!

Alexander Earl Calderwood

Born September 3rd, 2014 @ 12:45a.m.

Weighing 7lbs, 2 oz and 18 inches long

He is a bundle of pure love straight from Heaven!

We ADORE him!

Cousin Time is the Best Time

We were so happy that my sister and her family came to visit from Texas for two whole weeks.  They left last weekend, and it's always hard to say goodbye, but the girls truly enjoyed spending some quality time with their family.  

 We went to the park, played at the Millers pool, and Aunt Michelle and Lacy came over and played/visited many afternoons.  We even went out to dinner one evening at El Agave.

Amelia loved having her birthday party at the Millers pool.  She loved having her dad toss her up in the air (see below), jumping off the diving board, and playing with Lacy.

I don't know when our Miller cousins will be coming back this way again.  It's a long trip and they always travel by car (about 20 hours one way).  It helps that they have both sets of grandparents here, but it's still a lot of work for them.  I told Shaun maybe next summer I'll go visit my sister and take baby Alex with me.  Who knows?  But regardless of what happens next summer, I'm grateful for a sister who makes family a priority and comes to visit us so that my girls can have such precious memories with their cousins.

Life as a Working Mom

Last night I laid in bed next to Shaun and I told him I'm not sure how I actually work AND do all the things a mom does.  Not working the past week and a half I have been completely and 100% busy.  There's always laundry to be done, floors to be vacuumed, groceries to buy, meals to make, lunches to pack, and of course, most importantly, children and a spouse that need my love and attention.  I'm not sure how I go to work all day and do all of that.  I suppose the answer is like it is for so many, probably most moms this day in age, you do what you have to do, but what falls to the wayside along the way?  The work of a mom is so important.  I told Shaun that November will bring a harsh reality with it when I have to return to work.  It's not even that I don't like my job, because I do.  I love my colleagues and the work I do is noble and important, serving children and their families with special challenges.  I am not minimizing it's importance, but I also think that if I were to be able to stay at home these next five years, I wouldn't miss my day job at all.  I'd be doing the noble and most important work of all, the work of a mother.  O' how I wish this were an option.  I don't see how we could go without my income?  I certainly don't want to move back into a basement.  Moving was so important for our family to be independent and to grow, and yet moving to a basement apartment might be the only option if I were to quit my job and take on something part-time (apartments really aren't that cheap either you know).  I love our home.  It has been a huge blessing in our life.  Every day I'm grateful for it... for the neighbors, the beautiful finishes, the windows, the girls own bathroom.  And it's ours!  We moved in almost a year ago exactly and it's been a wonderful journey of making it our own that I take a lot of pride in.  After all, if I weren't required to work, I'd eventually like to go back to school for interior design... that or get my Ph.D. in Neuropsychology.  Anyway, I digress...

The point of this post today is to share with the void my internal mix of emotions regarding juggling work, life, and being a wife and mother.  The irony will be that by the time this baby boy is ready for school I most likely will be able to stay home, or be part-time.  I think I would do it too.  Even when kids are in school they need your attention.  Shaun has worked hard and his career is progressing, but if he were to take on the insurance for the family we'd be paying twice what we pay now, and he is now making just as much as me for the first time in our ten year marriage, but cutting our income by half is simply not an option.  We've talked about me going and doing private practice work.  I have my clinical license.  I could work under someone a couple of nights per week but I'd have to research more what that would actually end up paying.

The truth of the matter is there is comfort and security in my current job.  I know the expectations, and I know the schedule allows for flexibility with my family as well as wonderful holiday time and much of the summer off.  I get scared thinking about the unknown of another job, and to be 100% honest with the void and myself, I'm tired of social work.  It's exhausting!  It's draining!  At least at this point in my life, I want to give my mental, physical, and emotional energy to my own family, and many times my career leaves me feeling drained and under appreciated even more than being a mother does.  Sometimes I think that's why I throw myself into decorating my home or dreaming of interior design.  It's so polar opposite from sitting down with individuals who either cannot or will not help themselves.  So if I feel that way about social work, then why would I want to explore part-time avenues in the same career field?  Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets about the past ten years (other than having to work period while having a family).  I still remember the very literal answer to prayer I received in college to pursue social work.  I was debating interior design or architecture vs. sociology or social work ( I know, so similar, right?).  I was sitting in the middle of sacrament in the Clyde Building at BYU and trying to seek guidance about my future.  If I decided to pursue Architecture, I would have to transfer to a different university after my sophomore year as BYU did not offer it as a major of study.  I was torn and conflicted. I had taken a Sociology class and was fascinated with the study of people.  A friend of mine had told me Social Work was just applied Sociology.  You could graduate with real skills that applied to helping people.  I was intrigued, but my love for design had been with me really since I could remember.  Even when I was six or seven I was drawing floor plans and cutting out photos of homes from magazines my mom had.  I would play house with friends and set up the homes in my mind with everything in just the right spot.  I'm absolutely certain it's a love I had prior to coming to this earth.  But I'm also absolutely certain I came with a love for others.  So I found these two loves in competition with one another, and that's when, in the middle of the Clyde Building, I heard a voice.  I heard a soft but firm voice tell me clearer than day, "Focus on building mansions in Heaven for others, not on earth."  It was such a strong and clear answer I could not deny it.  I was to pursue social work.  I would have later confirmations that I was on the right path, like when I took my intro to social work class and learned of obtaining the LCSW.  I knew then and there my career path was set.  I had my goal and I was going to achieve it!  And achieve it I did.  I've been licensed now since 2006, and I am grateful to have that professional achievement.  But again, does that mean I need to do this for a lifetime?  I've frequently wondered if a career change would be in order, at least for a time and season.  Who's to say I can't pursue both loves, maybe more, in my lifetime?  But it's just not an option at this point.  And bringing me full circle to my initial statement, I have a third love pulling me in a completely different direction from social work or decorating, and that is the love of being a mother.  O' how I wish I could simply focus on just that for a time, but it seems it's not a card I can play.  I haven't been dealt that hand.  I know many moms have to work.  I have come to terms with it many times over and look at all the good and wonderful things about my job, but again, like I said initially, having been home just over a week I do not miss it.  I am completely busy and wrapped up in being a mom and wife, and truthfully I think that's where I need to be.

I suppose all this contemplation has no real point seeing as nothing can change.  But what if it could? What if I could be part-time?  The numbers just don't add up.  I will take this to my Heavenly Father. It would take a miracle that only He could provide.  And if such a miracle doesn't happen, then I count my blessings and move forward.  But my heart is torn today thinking about it, and I needed to share these thoughts and feelings, even if absolutely no one reads this post.  Thanks void for hearing me.

Better than the Bachelor

 Last week I took Ella and Amelia out on special "Mommy Daughter Dates" to get ready for the school year.  Ella and I went to Target to get school supplies, and a few back to school clothes that were Ella and mom approved.  We topped it off by going to Panera's (her choice) to get her favorite mac n' cheese and hot cocoa.  She was a doll.  We had such a grown up conversation on the way there, and she liked getting to have a say about what we did and didn't get.  It was a really special afternoon, and she was so happy, especially when we ate.  Above she's pictured with her huge mug of hot cocoa.  She was an angel all day and wrote me the note below after we got home.  

Her note and those memories= best mom moment of the week (maybe month or year)!

So watch out Bachelor, I had two hot dates in one week, and they were way more beautiful dates than anyone I've ever seen on a reality tv show (actually I don't watch reality tv much but still).

I took Amelia out to lunch and she chose Chick Filet.  She spent most of her time ignoring me and playing on the playground with other kids.  I felt abandoned.  I guess next time I will have to change the venue if I actually want her to talk to me, but she still had a lot of fun and felt special to get to go out one on one.

I definitely think this one on one date time is something we need to keep doing (for the girls and Shaun and I), especially with a baby coming and so many changes happening.  I think it helps the girls realize how special they are, and it certainly helped me remember how awesome they are!  Love these kids of mine!  Being home on "bed rest" has been a wonderful opportunity to get some more quality time with the girls before this baby arrives.  It will be an adjustment for all of us, but I know the girls will step up and be big helpers.  

Look who's 4!

Last week, while all of her Texas cousins were in town, we decided to celebrate Miss Amelia's 4th birthday.  She was so excited, but all she asked for was a chocolate Dora cake (she later changed her mind and chose the Hello Kitty Cake) and a party hat.  We went out to the Millers pool (my sister's in-laws), and we had a wonderful time!  Amelia LOVED playing with her cousins, especially Lacy, who will be ten next month.  Nana and Papa came, and fun was had by all, but especially my little Miss.  Happy Birthday to my beautiful and precious Amelia Ruth!  I am so very glad you are a part of our family.  We love you!