sweet Valentine

This handsome guy spoiled me with flowers and chocolate covered strawberries, plus a date night last night. I hope everyone is enjoying time with the people they love today!

 

 

best buddies: 1st and 100th day of school

These two are inseparable, and they're pretty adorable too. Amelia and Liam, 1st and 100th day of school!

 

 

Grandpa C comes to town

We always love visits with grandma and grandpa C. This visit was no exception, other than it just wasn't long enough. We missed Grandma terribly, but we take what we can get when family lives so far away. Grandpa packed a lot in to his short stay. He helped Shaun fix the van, did home repairs, and helped us celebrate Ella's birthday and baptism in style!

We started off his visit with breakfast at IHOP. The girls love any excuse to go out to breakfast, and a visit from grandpa was just the right reason to celebrate!

Alex had his first chocolate milk. I don't think he put the bottle down until he sucked it dry. That's good stuff!

Then for dinner we met up with nana and papa at Foster's Grill, where Ella enjoyed birthday cake and good food.

After dinner it was time for ice skating! It was the girls first time on the ice! I had baby duty, but Shaun and his dad did a great job with the girls. Ella did really well for her first time!

 

And after all this fun what more could you ask for? Well the next day Ella got baptized, so that was the icing on the cake!

 

 
 

 

 

 

 

Ella's Baptism

 

It was a beautiful day for our family on February 6th! I won't lie, I was a little nervous Ella was going to decide to not go through with getting baptized...Up until she actually came out of the font I knew there was a chance she might say, "Sorry mom, not today." Don't get me wrong, this was not something that by any means I wanted to force her into. Baptism is a sacred covenant between us and God. It signifies our willingness to walk in obedience to his commandments, and it is accompanied by receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. While truly understanding the depth of this commandment is still something I'm learning and discovering as an adult, it's possible at age eight to have the desire to do good and to please God. We had many talks as a family about what this meant. It was important that Ella understood baptism doesn't mean you have to be perfect, because that was her initial understanding. In the end, I think it ended up being a beautiful day. Ella's papa and grandpa were the main speakers, and nana recited a lovely poem about Ella. Even Amelia and I got to give the prayers, and Ella and her dad sang a special musical number that brought everyone to tears, 'A Child's Prayer'. She told us she wanted to sing with her dad, but in typical Ella fashion then refused to practice. But she pulled it off, and she brought her momma to tears. 

After her baptism friends and family gathered back at our house for food and fellowship. We had cake, and later that evening we did cake and presents with family. Definitely a day for the books (hence the blog post). Happy Birthday sweet Elle! We love you and all of your spicy goodness!
 
 

 

 

 
 

 

8 is Great! My Ella Celeste is getting baptized!

I don't know how it happened, but my little girl has grown into a young lady, a young lady who is about to turn 8! In the LDS faith children are baptized at eight, and so we have talked with Ella about this very important decision and whether or not she wants to be baptized. She's not 100% sure, but she does want to do what is right, and she does want to follow Jesus (her words not mine). So she will be getting baptized next Saturday on her actual birthday. Her grandpa C is flying into town, and it's going to be a lovely weekend. Today we took some photos of Ella in the snow in her baptism dress. She's growing up too too fast, but I love her so very much and I'm very proud of her decision to be baptized, just as Jesus was baptized. 

 

 

 

 

The Blizzard of 2016

January brought with it what we started calling "Snowmageddon" of 2016!  It seems like every 5-10 years we get one of those winter storms that literally shuts everything down for a whole week (or if you work in the public schools like me you get even more time).  I think we had about 3 feet but I stopped measuring when the snow fall literally came up to the door handle on my deck.  Here are some fun shots of the snowfall in our neighborhood.

The snowfall was literally deep enough for the girls to jump off of our second story deck and land in powdery whiteness without any problems.  So that become a fun game... jumping off the back deck.  Cover your ears if you think it's scandalous I should let my kids do such a thing, but it was probably the most fun they had during the whole storm.  

Another fun highlight of Snowmageddon was having daddy home throughout the storm.  For so many years he did landscaping so when big storms would come he'd be out plowing, but selfishly I was very happy to have him home with us.  He helped the girls build a fort in the basement that stayed up the entire week.  The girls slept there, played there, and we read books and played lots of UNO under that tent.

 

just in case you wanted to see the snow literally coming up to the handle on our sliding door, here's the proof.  It was nuts!

Shaun trying to shovel our deck after most of the snow had fallen.  The snow from the deck added extra cushion for the girls when they decided to jump off the deck later.

Shaun the Yeti ready for some more shoveling outside.  And the girls ready to go out and have some fun sledding.

Of course, after you've gone sledding for several hours, what is better than coming back to a nice cup of hot cocoa with whip cream and peppermint bits on top.  I made this in the crockpot and it was divine.  I ended up making it a few times throughout this storm.

  Outside fun!

So there you have it!  3 feet of snow, hours of outdoor entertainment to include sledding and deck jumping, many fun games of UNO, a lot of High School Musical watching, and sleeping in forts made this a snow storm to remember!  That being said, as excited as I was to see the snow come, I was equally excited to see it go so we could get back to a normal life and routine.  That yellow school bus was a blessed site after the end of a very long Snowmageddon hibernation at home!

Mama Mumblings

Welcome to March, the month that comes out like a lamb, and in like a Lion. We've had a little of lion and lamb so far this month, but I'm definitely opting for Lamb like weather if March comes asking. The last few weeks have been quiet... no snow days, no major events, allowing us to fall nicely into our daily routines. That being said, this stage of life (you know, the youngish mom with the three little kids but not super little anymore) is proving to be quite a growing experience. I'm so very grateful that I only work M-W because I need the other two days to feel like I have any semblance of togetherness. I think the challenge that is giving me the most growing pains is raising a spirited but gifted eight year-old. I almost feel guilty writing some of the challenges we face, because I don't want anyone to think for one second that I don't love and admire this tenacious little spirit sent to us from Heaven above. But she has been lashing out a lot, so putting on my counselor hat I know she is struggling greatly, and she's taking it out on all of us. I just ask myself if I'm the one who has caused all of this inner angst she is displaying. School has been super hard for her. She's not completing work although she is more than capable. We had her tested and her scores were all very strong, but what came back very loud and clear were symptoms of anxiety and depression based one rating scales done by myself and her teacher. She has been recommended for an IEP due to symptoms of Attention and Anxiety so that will help I think. I guess she's what we call twice exceptional, and I know it's not uncommon for gifted students to also suffer from anxiety at a higher rate than their peers, especially females. We've started taking her to see a highly recommended counselor who concurs with the diagnosis of Anxiety. At home that anxiety is presenting itself as a lot of confrontation, yelling at us, stomping her feet, lashing out, refusal to do just about anything non-preferred. Let me tell you, I have met with many families going through a similar situation with their own children, and never have I felt more empathy. It's one thing to talk the talk, another thing entirely to walk the walk. All of the incentive charts and reward systems we try work with minimal success. Actually, I wonder if I'm just not suited for my work if I can't seem to manage these things within my own home. I also question my parenting abilities... A LOT! My heart aches that my daughter is anxious, and that at some level Shaun and I exacerbate these symptoms with our own behaviors. I know we yell sometimes, maybe even more than sometimes. And it is impacting our younger daughter too, who keeps telling me her tummy hurts and asks if all of us can please get along. I'm telling you this struggle is eating me up inside from every angle. Shaun and I are doing our best, but lately I feel like our best just isn't good enough, that our daughter is going to grow up hating us because we enforce rules like going to school, getting homework done, and wearing socks with our shoes. I'm a firm believer in positive parenting, and in theory I would like to say we parent that way all the time. No spanking, reinforce rules with love, let natural consequences be a part of every day discipline, you get further with rewards than punishment, though both are important... those are just a few of the key mantras that highlight my parenting thoughts. But in actuality I can't say that we don't yell at times, that I don't completely lose it and lay my children with guilt trips. But we keep trying. Shaun tends to be even more of a yeller than I am, but I give him props for really trying hard to try this positive parenting with me. Our counselor also reinforces these ideas, giving us articles to read and things to discuss while she works with Ella. I just hope it's not too little too late. Within the last couple of weeks we have taken away all technology. This is not a punishment but her counselor felt she couldn't calm down with all of the electronic stimulation. She was probably doing an hour/day of Minecraft plus some television and device time, so we've cut it all off with the exception of one television show/day that we can all watch together. I think this does help, and it's fun to see what she and her sister will come up with to do when there are no electronic distractions. They've built forts, colored in coloring books, and played together with their toys more lately than they have in a long time. So that's progress, and today Ella's teacher emailed me to tell me she earned "Giraffe of the week" (kinda like student of the week) for the first time this year because she's been doing very well this week getting her work done. These things are encouraging, but every time she yells, "I hate you" (this happens several times/day) I break a little inside. I just want her to know how precious she is, and I remind myself that she was Heavenly Father's child before she was ever mine, so I pray every day that I can be the parent for her and all of my children that He would have me be. This is one of those trials that I need strength beyond my own to handle. I hope and pray as she gets older some of these things will get better with maturity and some of the coping strategies she is learning with her counselor (i.e. deep breathing, brain gym activities), but reality tells me a different story. Everyone I know with adolescents says it just gets harder, so I better brace myself for the long road ahead. And I have to admit when I think about this being ongoing indefinitely I feel a little deflated and mostly exhausted. Plus how do I give my other two beautiful children the time and attention they deserve, especially Amelia because she truly is the middle child. Alex gets a lot of attention from me because he is the baby (and the lifeline of my life many times... oooh how I love that little boy), but my sweet Amelia is often the one that feels caught in the middle trying to help her older sister listen but also not wanting to disappoint her father or I because she sees that happen with Ella so often. So one child feels like they are never good, and the other feels like she can never be "bad". We are trying to do individual time with both girls, and I tell Amelia how much I appreciate her, but I need to tell her more often that it's okay for her to make mistakes and get upset too. I know how she feels because I have some of those traits as well, the peacemaker who tries to take care of everyone else but may not take care of herself. So because I'm a counselor and I do this all day long it almost makes it worse. I over analyze (I bet you couldn't tell from this long post though, eh?) and I may have a tinge of my own anxiety. I would say it's not to a clinical disorder level, but anxiety definitely runs in my family. In that sense Shaun is very good for me because he helps me to just take breaks and enjoy some down time. But getting it out there has always been therapeutic for me, so that was the purpose in today's post. I just need to put it in writing that this struggle is breaking my heart and I see it being so hard on my beautiful Elle and the rest of the family. And as always, we keep on keepin' on, and we give it over to the Lord. I just hope Ella knows how much she is loved. If she reads this post one day I want her to know I'm trying, and I know I fall short, but I love you and your siblings with all my heart. Being your mother means everything to me.